HVK Archives: Where is culture is knee-deep
Where is culture is knee-deep - Economic Times
Raghu Krishnan
()
5 September 1996
Title : Where culture is knee-deep
Author : Raghu Krishnan
Publication : Economic Times
Date : September 5, 1996
EK THI Miss India. Ek tha Big B. Ek thi Miss World. Aur
ek tha BJP...Set that to the music of the latest hit song
released by ABCL and you have the perfect score for the
dramatic threat by the BJP's Karnataka equivalent of
Sushma Swaraj - Pramila Nesargi - to "pound" the angry,
middle-aged man for "parading naked women from 120
countries" in the garden city of India.
Whether it is okay to parade "naked" women from 120
countries including India in Sin, sorry, Sun City in
South Africa, is a point the BJP has not yet raised.
There are those who may quibble that a swim-suit is not
nudity. But they, the BJP will tell you, are splitting
hairs - whether on the head or not we will not touch on!
(American ads of the 60s like "Make your arm-pits your
charm-pits" may not reflect the Indian ethos or Hindutva
views on tackling the other Indian Big B - Body odour!)
Going by Sushma's allergy to the raising of skirts in TV
ads - as I&B minister she wanted DD to avoid such ads -
the cut-off point is obviously the knee! The World War
Two British song 'Knees Up Mother Brown' can be sung in
21st-century-to-be India but not done! We must remember
that, when masquerading as a girl, Tom Sawyer's friend
Huckleberry Finn was asked by a Mississippi matron to sit
with his knees firmly together!
So, maybe the BJP could insist on its pound of flesh
(concealed, of course) for allowing the Miss World
pageant in Bangalore to go on without a glitch - barring
the odd power cuts or two hundred! Ms Nesargi could
ensure that the Miss World '96 pageant is not just
another beauty competition with a point here and a point
there and a swim-suit in between. She could insist that
the swim-suits cover the arms and the knees of the
beauties on display.
The BJP could also insist on pure verbal intercourse by
stipulating that the 10 wise men (judges) ask no
titillating questions, even if tongue-in cheek! There
should be no double entendus, no questions on who any of
the shortlisted Miss Worlds sees as the perfect date.
(Bharatiya naaris can only go on dates with their
fiancees, armed with a chaperon! And there is no question
of heavy dates with or without female wrestlers!)
The BJP could also insist that the audience (the
sprinkling of celebrities, the thousands of complimentary
passholders and the hundreds of paying customers) do
their bit to promote Hindutva by not indulging in wolf-
whistles or what is known as cheap behaviour of the kind
which can be seen in any late show in any cinema in the
cowbelt! The spectators should be firmly told that they
can only express their appreciation with a titter of
applause. For a telecast being watched by billions,
India must be seen to be putting its best foot (sorry
ankle) forward!
If the don of ABCL is not agreeable to this silsila, he
can, of course, seek the intervention of the Bigger B
whom he recently introduced to be the prime minister!
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