HVK Archives: The Sonia fallout
The Sonia fallout - The Indian Express
Sultan Shahin
()
February 13, 1998
Title: The Sonia fallout
Author: Sultan Shahin
Publication: The Indian Express
Date: February 13, 1998
ello, this is Jimmy Carter. May I speak with Mrs. Thatcher,
please?"
"What a pleasant surprise, Mr. President, this is Maggie."
"I am no longer President, my dear, haven't been for God knows
how long."
"I am no longer Prime Minister, but people can't help calling me
that."
"You better try harder, Maggie. Instead of calling me Mr
President, you may need to call me Mr Prime Minister soon."
"Really, what are you saying? The United States has not seen the
wisdom of following British parliamentary democracy, has it?
"I am not talking about American politics, Maggie. I called you
for advice. You know the area better than I do. When I was
President, my administration did not consider that country
important enough for me to study in any detail..."
"What are you talking about, Mr President, well, Mr Carter?"
"The idea is so outlandish ... But I have accepted the proposal
in my national interest."
"Really, Mr President, please stop beating about the bush."
"Well, I have been asked to lead the ruling front of India in the
forthcoming elections there."
"Oh, I know about the situation in India. As the former ruling
party, the Congress is fielding the Italian-born widow of Rajiv
Gandhi as their leader. There is a mad rush in India for
importing leaders from the West. No political party wants to be
left behind."
"Actually, I was quite reluctant to begin with. But the CIA got
scent and convinced me that it may be in our national interest to
do so."
"But surely you realise, Mr President, that as the former
colonial power the post of Indian prime minister legitimately
belongs to a Briton?"
"What can I do if I have been offered the opportunity? And if
India has to be ruled by a foreigner, the task legitimately
belongs to an American. My liberal democratic politics suits
both the UF and the wretched Indian masses. In any case, how can
1 help it if the offer has come my way?"
"But you can simply refuse to go. I, too, have a similar offer
>from the main opposition party, the BJP. And I have decided to go
in our national interest. I owe it to my ancestors who created
this country from scratch. India was not even an idea when we
reached the shores of the Bay of Bengal. Now it is a potentially
great country waiting for a great leader. And I have all the
right credentials. Do you realise what would happen to the
country if you were let loose upon it with your liberal ideas?
Do you remember the mess you made in the US with your people-
friendly politics? Eventually Ronald Reagan, a conservative like
me, had to come to clean all that mess."
"Hearing you, Margaret, I feel even more convinced that I must go
even if it means contesting an election. You and your
conservatism, imperialism and racism-turned-communalism are the
last things India needs. Its forlorn masses surely need a leader
of some calibre, humanity, philosophy, vision. Thank you for
focusing my mind on the right phrases and slogans."
"Just one thing, Mr Carter. I would not like our contest to hurt
the special Anglo-American relationship."
"Nothing of that kind will happen, Mrs Thatcher. The CIA and MI6
know the stakes very well. We cannot allow the Italian mafia to
take over India."
"Goodbye, Mr President, and see you in India."
"Goodbye, Maggie, and see you in India. My party will not easily
allow someone like you to come to power, someone who didn't have
the gumption to deal with Islamic fundamentalists in Teheran even
to save American diplomats. How will you save India's teeming
majority from being swamped by the culture of minorityism and
minority appeasement?"
WHAM!!!
WHAM!!!
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