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HVK Archives: Ya Allah! Save us from Saraswati

Ya Allah! Save us from Saraswati - Organiser

Satiricus ()
December 27, 1998

Title: Ya Allah! Save us from Saraswati
Author: Satiricus
Publication: Organiser
Date: December 27, 1998

Introduction: Saraswati stands for knowledge, knowledge is for
spiritual release, therefore, Saraswati is anti-secular.

Satiricus is so sorry to see that stubborn Saraswati refuses to
surrender to secularism. He had thought that with the terrific
triumph of the secularists at the Education Ministers' Conference
the issue had been satisfactorily settled and this crass symbol
of communalism had been righteously removed from the fair face of
secular India. But what happens? This cussed communalist of a
minister in Uttar Pradesh takes it into his head to issue the
damnable directive that all school children in the State should
sing Saraswati Vandana. That, of course, meant secularism again
khaire mein hai. Naturally Satiricus was deeply distressed and
was thinking of calling upon M.F. Husain, that splendid symbol of
sartorial secularism, to come to the rescue and dissolve this
Hindu goddess once again purely in national interest. But to his
pleasant surprise both the BJP Chief Minister of UP and the BJP
Home Minister at the Centre promptly and firmly declared: "Not
Saraswati Vandana, we are secular." And to underline their
secularism the minister who sided with Saraswati was summarily
sacked. Could these shining lights of a self-confessed Hindu
party have done more to prove their secular credentials?
Satiricus thinks not. Unfortunately communalists never learn.
They. still keep writing letters to newspapers singing
Saraswati's praises. The other day one of these foolish fellows
went to the fantastic extent of writing that "Saraswati Vandana
is an invocation to the goddess of learning who is by no stretch
of imagination a religious goddess but a truly secular one". And
how so? Because "one does not pray to her for one's spiritual
needs". Now, who is this fellow trying to fool? Certainly not a
secularist like Satiricus. This horrid Hindu is hiding the fell
fact that "Sa vidya ya vimuktaye "-knowledge is for mukti,
liberation of the soul, the spirit. To put it in a simple
syllogism, Saraswati stands for knowledge, knowledge is for
spiritual release, therefore, Saraswati is anti-secular.
Fortunately enough this un-knowledgeable man concludes his letter
with the words "it is the duty of intellectuals to project such
issues in the right perspective". Now that makes sense. It is
certainly the duty of intellectuals of India to fight the menace
posed by Saraswati, and who is more intellectual than the
convener of the Muslim Intellectual Forum of Mumbai? Writing to
the same newspaper on the same day Janab Intellectual has quoted
the author of a book titled Why I ant not a Hindu, who "opines
that Saraswati was herself illiterate". Now, Satiricus knocks
that being a journalist he is by definition illiterate, but he
was astounded to learn that, he would find himself in such august
company as Saraswati. Putting it slightly differently,
Satiricus' being a journalistic is conclusive proof of his being
illiterate, a few university degrees notwithstanding. But what
proves Saraswati was illiterate? Alas! Satiricus does not know,
as he has not read that extremely illuminating book and so does
not know the clinching proof adduced by this man of learning
against the Goddess of Learning. But he is sure the book must be
a treasure-house of secular knowledge. Why else would an
intellectual-and a Muslim intellectual, at that - so reverently
quote it? The book says Saraswati was not only illiterate but
"never took up the challenge of Brahmanic hegemony over
knowledge". Now, what is that supposed to mean? Oh, Satiricus
is not supposed to know what it means, because he is an
illiterate Hindu, not a learned anti-Hindu. All Satiricus knows
is that the world's first people of knowledge were the seers who
composed the verses of the Vedas, and many of them were women.
Secondly he knows that they included Kshatriyas like, for
instance, the Mudgalayanas. And thirdly he knows that the
Brahmins did not stick to one place to stick to their hegemony,
otherwise the statue of a Brahmin's head would not have been
found as far away as in now-Muslim Turkey. But of course history
of the ancient Hindus is anathema to Indian intellectuals, so it
is natural that this particular Muslim intellectual should not be
sullied by any such knowledge. At the same time his obviously
profound knowledge of Islam makes him "support the fatwa issued
by Ali Mian" and other mullahs "in the light of the Islamic
fundamentals..." Now, is this support the support of a Muslim or
the support of an intellectual? Satiricus does not know. He had
thought a fatwa and an intellectual are contradictory as a fatwa
enforces action without intellect questioning its rationale. But
obviously Satiricus was wrong in thinking so, as he is not even a
Hindu intellectual, let alone that rarity called a Muslim
intellectual. This Muslim intellectual not only accepts a fatwa
but even the fundamentalism on which it is based. In the stupid
opinion of Satiricus that makes the Janab a fundamentalist
intellectual. Is it possible for such an inherently contradictory
being to exist? Well, in secular India it is. Indian
intellectuals are faithful followers of the fundamentalist
religion of secularism, and for them secular intellectualism can
very well have a fatwa as its foundation.


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