Author: Rohit Parihar
Publication: India Today
Date: January 30, 2006
As an assertion of their rights, it is the
brides of the Shrimali Brahmins who ride the mare
On a sunny afternoon in Jodhpur, 21-year-old
Preeti Dave, all decked up, took a two-hour journey on a mare to meet her
would-be husband Guru Prasad Vora. Behind her walked her family members in
a procession. The sight of the bride-on-the-mare squeezing through the narrow
lanes of Brahmapuri, a Brahmin settlement known as the blue city of Rajasthan,
did not surprise or amuse the locals. It's an old custom among the Shrimali
Brahmins.
The origins of the custom, followed by about
1.5 lakh Shrimali Brahmin families across India, are not clear, but it is
said the women take pride in it. One rationale behind the custom is that in
old times when engagements were fixed without boys and girls getting a chance
to see each other, this was the sole opportunity for the groom to ensure that
all was well with his bride. Sometimes, young girls who want to get married
early also ride behind the bride. Similarly, grooms have a young boy seated
behind them.
For Preeti, who is pursuing a master's degree
in Sanskrit, the ride was an exciting time. All attention was on her. Her
mother-in-law offered prayers to ward off the evil eye and presented her with
a bright red lehenga that she wore for the marriage ceremony.
Babu Lal Sharma, a retired IPS officer and
president of Akhil Bharatavarsha Shrimali Brahmin Samaj, throws more light
on the custom. He says it began with the bride having to take a round of the
village to worship local deities after the groom arrived to marry her-a custom
still followed in many castes. When she would meet the groom, he would shower
her with gifts. Some others see an assertion of women's rights in the custom.
"It demonstrates equality of women," says Shobha Bhardwaj, sarpanch
of Aanwa village in Tonk district, where the custom of going to worship local
deities on a mare is followed but not that of visiting the would-be husband.
Shrimalis have two other customs related to
the marriage ceremony in which women play a role different from the normal
Hindu practice. Just before the ceremony begins, the mothers of both the bride
and the groom exchange garlands and take rounds of the holy fire. "A
marriage" between two women is viewed both as an attempt to cement relationships
and to ward off evil spirits. In the actual ceremony, the groom walks around
the fire twice. First, according to the normal custom and second, carrying
his wife, thereby displaying his strength. "Even I was carried,"
says Preeti. So, the next time you visit Jodhpur and see a girl riding a mare
don't be surprised.
