Author:
Publication: Tehelka
Date: August 22, 2009
URL: http://www.tehelka.com/story_main42.asp?filename=hub220809the_valley.asp
Sanjay Suri will soon be playing a reformed
militant. He talks to E NINA ROTHE about his complex feelings while shooting
in Kashmir
Sanjay Suri is the rare actor unafraid to
take on unconventional roles. Whether he's playing the HIV positive protagonist
in My Brothel Nikhil or a shopowner during the Gujarat riots in Firaaq, he
always pushes his creative boundaries. Unlike insider Hindi film heroes, he
hasn't had an obliging father to set him on his way. His father was shot dead
by militants in Kashmir. Which makes his latest choice portraying a reformed
militant in Piyush Jha's Sikandar, to be released on August 21, especially
poignant. Here, he talks about his forthcoming projects and about his return
to the Valley that was once home.
What did you notice as the most dramatic change
in the Valley? And what had remained the same?
Visually, Kashmir looked like a beautiful widow who had lost her colour, vibrancy
and smile, and had an expression of irreversible loss. So much has happened
there in the last 20 years that every structure has a story to tell. Twenty
years is a long time. After the mass migration of Hindus in the early 1990s,
the Valley was left with just one culture and faith. To me, a beautiful garden
needs to have all kinds of flowers and not just one kind. That is one change
which is so evident and sad. To me, nothing is the same.
What was it like to return to Kashmir after
so many years of turmoil?
I am at a loss for words when I have to answer this question. A feeling that
I may not be able to express and articulate. But I shall try my best to put
forward my innermost thoughts. It was like going back home without a place
to stay!
I was visiting "home" after 18 long
years. I wonder why I still call it "my home". Maybe because no
other place could give me that feeling of belonging, that identification after
having been called a migrant somewhere, a north Indian in another place, sometimes
even a refugee in my own country. But that still does not answer my question
of why the Valley feels like home. Is it home or is it just memories of home,
my childhood, my family, my orchids, my lakes, my rivers, my playground, my
chinars, my autumn and spring?
I don't know if I was happy to go back after
18 years or not. Maybe I should have let it remain in my memories, a lost
chapter in our lives. Or was I scared that I might not like it now because
everything is in the past? The associations are in my mind and all those people
don't live there anymore. It's not the same. That playground had no players
I knew.
Maybe a catharsis was waiting to happen, but
is it that simple?
I believe and know that nature moves ahead
and one should not look back, but then that "back" is where our
identity comes from. The past is important because it has prepared you for
the future. And visiting that past is like trying to find your footprints
in the cold, breezy desert sand.
I was hoping I would find my way back only
to return stronger and happier, but it's not that simple.
Why did your family leave the state?
One unfortunate morning in 1990, my father was shot dead by terrorists at
our home in Srinagar. His only fault? That he was a Hindu living in Kashmir,
as many generations of our family had done before him. We had to leave lock,
stock and barrel. Between that year and 1991, Kashmir witnessed ethnic cleansing
and we had to leave the Valley.
During your journey back, did you get to spend
time in your actual birthplace, Srinagar?
Initially I was reluctant, but then I did go to my house in Srinagar. It was
very difficult as all the memories came back. Another family lives there now
and they were sensitive enough to let me absorb and spend some moments there.
I went to see my school, my playgrounds, a local club, my favourite ice cream
parlour and my farm. Some old waiters at the club recognised me in a second.
They hugged me and started howling because earlier they hadn't even got the
opportunity to mourn my father's death. I drove around the city and tried
to show my wife my childhood.
What were some of your more positive impressions
while you were there?
I hope I am right in saying that people seemed fed up with this prolonged
violence and terrorism. Civilians who once supported the separatist organisations
seem to have realised that it was a huge mistake and that all they have got
in return is misery. While the world was progressing, Kashmir was burning.
The education system, civic facilities, infrastructure, economy, human life
- everything has suffered. Finally, it seems they have woken up. At least,
I hope so!
Were there times when it felt impossibly hard
to even be in Kashmir?
Yes, many times a day. Too much was bottled up inside me and sometimes escapism
seemed to be the best thing. There were moments when I would want to catch
the next flight out and leave it all behind, but then my roots would keep
pulling me back.
A lost era cannot be brought back and a new
Kashmir cannot be beautiful without all kinds of flowers and cultures.
The answers lie far from our grasp. But what
do you think is a solution for the troubles of the state?
Like you say, there are no simple answers. But I do feel an adequate government
and a strong political will is the need of the hour. Also, involving people
from the regions of Jammu and Ladakh is key in deciding the fate of the state
as they are often left out.
What is tougher, the daily hardships of Kashmir
or the cutthroat dealings of the Hindi film industry?
(Laughs) At least in the film industry one knows who the competition is or
who you are fighting against. In Kashmir one never knew the enemy, who could
be living next to you.
While filming, what were you reading and listening
to?
To be honest, I was just absorbing the experience of being there and remembering
my childhood. So there was no time to read or listen to anything. In fact,
I was inspired to write but couldn't do that either.
You have always chosen unconventional roles
in your career and your role in this film is no exception. Without giving
away the plot, what drew you to this character?
Ironically, when I left Kashmir I hated politicians, and now as a professional
actor I am playing one. A story like Sikandar could be set in any area which
has been facing conflict for years. I have never played a character like this
before. Mukhtaar is charismatic, charming and shrewd. A reformed militant
leader - this gives him many layers. I enjoyed this part of the character.
What are your forthcoming projects?
Besides Sikandar, I have done a supernatural thriller called Flat. Then there
is Alibaug, a drama, and As the River Flows, a thriller. We are also currently
shooting for I Am, a series of five short films directed by Onir and produced
by him and me. All these projects are very diverse in content and genre.
